“The Official Underground 2012 Doomsday Survival Handbook” There are only 8 paperbacks left so you better hurry unless you think we’ll have power in 2013, then you could just get the Kindle version. Share This
Ever set your beer down and forget where you left it? Put your beer in this contraption and locate it with ease. Share This
Instantly call BS on anyone. Even if they are telling the truth you can just point to the button and they will be defeated! Share This
“Oh No it’s Mr. Bill.” Remember when Saturday Night Live was funny? Me neither. Share This
Having trouble finding a coffee mug that expresses just exactly how you feel? Create your own! Now you can let Tim know exactly how you feel about him. “Tim Is A Stupid Head”. Share This
“A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore” No! Seriously? He wrote a book? Waiter, check please. Share This
Tell him you’re tired of getting him another beer… he should just carry his own. Share This
I am sure there is some kind of pun here involving the word “pump” but for the life of me I can’t think of anything good. The picture is just to accurate to be funny.
What the model had to say about his likeness: “Arrrgggg…. aaaaaaaaarrrrrrr… rar.” Share This
I would recommend the Thing 1 shirt… the Thing 2 shirt seems to makes you close your eyes during photographs. Share This
For the Crazy Cat Lady in your life…. she ends the day smelling like this anyway… might as well start the day out right. Share This
“1,000 Unforgettable Senior Moments: Of Which We Could Remember Only 246″. That’s a long title, I am surprised the author made it to the end of it without a potty break. Share This
Pretty sure Bill Gates uses actual $100 bills to do his business… but you can get almost the same satisfaction for under 7 bucks… PER ROLL. Share This
When I hit 30 this was my exact feeling… but come to think of it that has been my feeling at every birthday. Share This
The perfect shirt for that friend who just got out of that relationship that you help break up.
I wouldn’t recommend trying to wear these while going through airport security. I WOULD recommend wearing them everywhere else though. Share This
Never again hear a snooty maitre’d say “Wrong glass sir.” The RedNek Wine Glass will hold more than wine, it will hold your dignity. Share This
If you open a wine-cooler with this manly thing I will personally visit your house in the middle of the night… and it won’t be a nice visit. Share This
From Amazon’s description: “Processing takes an additional 4 to 5 days for orders from this seller.” BECAUSE THEY ARE FONDLING THE MERCHANDISE! Share This
I doubt these would be legally binding on a contract but it would be fun to send back those unexpected divorce papers with a “Dislike” stamped on it. Share This
From the critically aclaimed authors of “What’s your poo telling you?” comes this follow up book. “..reveal the secrets and splendors of farts and pee..” Okay really? Share This
You’ll never have a problem picking out your wallet ever again… unless Samuel L. Jackson is at the same wallet swapping party. They have those right? Well they should. Share This
Okay… just about the coolest knit cap ever. Just do us a favor and don’t make that face when wearing it. Guy looks like a creepy stalker. Share This
This is the white elephant gift you’ve been looking for. Trust me it will NEVER get used and re-gifted a hundred times. Share This
Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian…. nope it’s a smaller version of the lamp from “A Christmas Story”. Share This
This baby holds FIVE beers…. why do they show six beers in the photo? Because you’ll need one full beer to drink while pouring the other five. Share This
Did you know that duct tape can turn any item of clothing into rainwear? Oh the things you will learn. Share This
Never wonder again if you’re drying your face today with the end of the towel you dried your butt with yesterday. Share This
From the description: “…illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor)…” Enough said? Yeah.. thought so. Share This
Wake up to a new day by getting in the shower to the fresh scent of BACON. It’s like rubbing your body with a huge chunk of dead flesh… but not quite as sociopathic. Share This
Tired of the same old same old in your routine? Get a hole-in-one while you get your… um… I know there is a joke in there somewhere. Share This
A big band-aid for those big car boo-boos. Great gift for that wife who can’t seem to park between two mile-markers without dinging a fender. Share This
Nature gave kangaroos pouches to carry their young in. Nature didn’t do anything as convenient for humans… so we had to make this. Suck it nature! Share This
Pretty sure the name speaks for itself. PoTUS Poop Paper for your Pooper. Share This
I’ve seen people who have this as an ACTUAL tattoo. I thought it was neat but not neat enough to get it forever. Share This
All the mixin’s for a right good shin dig. Alcohol? Check. Tobacco? Check. Firearms? Check…. just need the chips.
Oh silly old timey man on the sign… you are just making excuses for yourself. Now go get me another beer. Share This
Admit it, you wanted one of these as a kid. Well now you are an adult! You can run with scissors. You can stay up late. You can own a SWITCHBLADE comb. Share This
Every kiss begins with Kay? Um… I do believe if you did your research sir you would find more kisses have begun with beer… and ended with the walk of shame. Share This
Made from the hide of real Muppets. They tracked ‘em. They killed ‘em. They skinned ‘em. And now you get to wear them as a hat! Share This
Personally I think they should have added “In Office” to the end of “Obama’s Last Day”. It kind of sounds like a threat otherwise. Share This
I am pretty sure if something like this worked it would require batteries that were filled with boobs. That’s the only way you’re controlling me… lots and lots of boobs. Share This
This kitchen timer is bound to end up broken by having a can-opener taken to it after a night of drinking and wanting some delicious soup. Share This
This aluminum sign has very simple instructions for reducing your daily level of stress. If banging YOUR head in the area doesn’t do the trick try banging someone else’s.
Start your day with a BANG. This mug with a pistol grip for a handle is cool but I wouldn’t carry it into a bank.
Yes, you read that right. It’s a humping dog that runs off of USB Power… unlike my humping dog that runs off of Bourbon. Share This
Crazy Cat Lady may not come with a kung-fu grip or a bionic eye that you can see through but she does come with FIVE cats and a perpetual smell of cat urine. Share This
Use these to make shot glass shaped popsicles then fill with your favorite Adult Beverage. Share This
Well, he stuck it into everything else… might as well try wine bottles. Share This
A hot, seaming toilet… er, mug of coffee. The funny thing is the more cream you add to your coffee the grosser this is going to look.
Don’t be caught flat footed when you are invited last minute to an Opera, Embassy Party or to defeat some dastardly plan of S.P.E.C.T.E.R.’s. Share This
Save up for that liposuction procedure! Warning: It farts when you put a coin in. Share This
Today’s youths are soft. Throwing rubber chickens at targets? Try a good game of “Dodge The Lawn Dart”… now that’s a game! Share This
Give fair warning to the women of your life. Beyond this point expect to see: Excessive Drinking, High Testosterone Sports, and a possible chance of nudity.
Band Aids for the gentlemen in all of us…. unless you’re a gentlewoman… then it’s so you can pretend to be a gentleman to get into the gentleman’s club. Share This
You might as well get accustomed to the taste of Zombie now, after the coming apocalypse they will be tasting YOU. Share This
I swear this is some kind of conspiracy to make me not want to drink beer! “Yo bro, take a pull off my beer belly.” Excuse me while I go vomit. Share This
I am not an enjoyer of wine. I am more of a beer man. But for SOME reason I am craving wine right now. Anyone got any idea why? Share This
This is one of those gifts that get’s purchased a lot and rarely used. Share This
Better than a Magic 8 Ball, what kind of excuse would “It’s decidedly so” be? Now “24 Hour Flu” could get you that day of skiing you wanted. Share This
Keeps your head warm? Check. Keeps your face warm? Check. Attracts the ladies? HELL YEAH Share This
Faster than a speeding Christian, more powerful than a Muslim, and able to leap tall Scientologists in a single bound. SUPER JEW! Share This
I originally clicked on this link thinking I would find a Sumo Wrestler… they after all are the original Japanese Food Erasers. Nope, erasers shaped like food. Share This
Take the excitement of the video game into the real world with you. Use your imagination to transform your co-workers into pigs and go get your eggs back! Share This
Know someone who loves to cook but can’t boil water? This gem might be the perfect gift for them. Share This
Move over SPAM, here comes the NEW Magical Meat! Tasty Unicorn Meat now available in convenient can form. Share This
Also available as an audio book read by the one and only Samuel L. Jackson! Share This
It’s really a great gift to get the girl your best friend just started dating. Share This
“Dude you got to try this, it’s like being high on acid.” Yeah… she looks like she’s tripping. Share This
MMMMMmmmm… Minty, tasty Bacon Mints. Everything tastes better with bacon flavor added.
It turned the tided of the Great Gummy Bear War of 1812. It’s inventor was heralded as the next Leonardo da Vinci right before he was brought up on charges by the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man. Share This
Not sure but this book could be just filled with page after page of “No, YOUR Mom!”. Share This
It’s a virtual cornucopia (yes I had to look up how to spell that) of crap an over-the-hill person might need. Don’t worry, 203 is the new 40. Share This
How many times has your genitalia gotten you into trouble? Has it ever apologized? Has it ever learned it’s lesson? It’s the best “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt EVER.
Mastering the Language of Swashbucklers and Rogues. Remember boys and girls, “International Talk Like A Pirate Day” is September 19th. Share This
This actually explains a lot to me about why Bill aged so much while acting as our president. Share This
It’s a ball sack for your golf balls… I am sure there is a more pleasant way to say that and that my mother would encourage me to find one. Meh. Share This
I’ve drunk out of worse. When you need caffeine you NEED CAFFEINE! Though this may scare off those timid, passive aggressive office mates who have been snagging your coffee mug. Share This
I feel like I should say something about how they can take our dignity but they’ll never take our Kilt Towels… but I’ll refrain and let the picture speak for itself. Share This
From the greatest story ever told comes this many of a kind T-Shirt. “This is My BOOM STICK!”
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In case you were thinking that Hassling the the Hoff was a good idea…. just don’t. You let sleeping dogs lie and you Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Share This
I believe I’ll join you! And then maybe would could go out for some beers… after we have some beers. Beer, it’s what’s for dinner. Share This
Countdown to the end of the world with this fabulous Page-A-Day calendar. They’re talking about he 2012 Presidential election right? Share This
Homer: Hello? Why am I Mr. Sparkle?
Worker: You like Mister Sparkle?
Homer: Well, I am Mr. Sparkle.
Worker: You have many question, Mr. Sparkle. Share This
Whether you voted for him or not, odds are you’ve wanted to bop the Commander and Chief in the nose a time or two. Share This
The Old Whiney’s Wine Glass is perfect for that aged person who is so palsied that they have a hard time drinking their wine without spilling. Share This
From the description: “Catch eyes. Turn heads. BE THE PARTY.” Yep… you’ll turn heads alright. Share This
They gave me a Day Pass. Is this in reference to Jail or an Insane Asylum? Who knows, but it could work for many of your friends I am sure. Share This
This could put a damper on our other site selling brand new organs that we grow in vats. By “brand new” I mean “hobo” and by “grow in vats” I mean got for a box of wine. Share This
As men get older things start to sag and need a to be handled with a delicate touch. Help out the old man in your life with the Old Man Undies. Share This
As if we men have been emasculated enough… society now gives us the Daddy’s Diaper Changing Apron.
If you have the bacon I have the time. It’s much more of an important food group than dairy after all.
I don’ know if I would paste this on my car… but I agree with it’s sentiment.
How many trees died for your necktie? Zero? Zero is not enough. You need a wooden necktie my friend! Share This
